The Journey Continues – Cha-cha-cha-changes…

Change 5

Oh, that we were given such warning as the picture foretells! I don’t know about you, but I don’t deal real well with change. I’m a creature of habit, especially when things are going well and I feel comfortable. Please don’t rock my boat! Steady as she goes…no detours or storms. please.

This year….well, it’s been a year of changes – some big, some small, but changes just the same. I would have never guessed when this year began that all that has happened was lying in wait for me. Perhaps that’s the point.

“The only thing constant is change.” Without change, Life becomes stagnate. All of Nature has cycles of change. Why is it then that many of us humans dislike it so much and some even actually fear it even when the current circumstances are unpleasant?

My belief, based on my own experiences, is that it comes from what Life has dealt us, even from our earliest years, when change has occurred in our lives. If those changes left us in unpleasant circumstances or resulted with unpleasant emotions, then we would have programmed ourselves to be leery or even afraid of change. On the other hand, if change was presented to us as an adventure and with feelings of awe and wonder, we would look forward to it with the expectation of something exciting and good happening.

For me, I think my foundation stones with change were made of the former rather than the latter. From my earliest remembrances, my parents moved often. As a matter of fact, in the first grade, I attended four or five different schools because we kept moving. For a young child, this can leave you feeling insecure, unconfident, and, quite frankly, scared. As I look back, it felt like every time I started to relax, get comfortable, and start to make a few friends, the proverbial rug was pulled out from my feet and I had to start all over again. Not a good impression of change was built inside of me.

Some will also recognize that I had no control over what was happening because I was a child. Sadly, perhaps because of that beginning where I had no control, my adult life went down that path as well. Over the course of about 27 years of my adult life, I lived in 11 different homes (once living in my car) from the time I moved out of my parents’ house and have been married four times. Change. Sometimes I wondered if I would ever feel safe and secure.

Even when “change” seemed to bring something or someone good in my life, I learned to “wait for it,” because inevitably that rug would get yanked out from under my feet again. There really was no lasting feelings of safety, security, well-being, or happiness. Change had become that scary unknown that usually took something or someone from me and left me with lots of sadness. Change and fear were synonymous to me.

I have to ask, at this point, how many others have had similar experiences that have left them with that same apprehension about change? If their experiences with change have been almost consistently ones that were unpleasant, why would they view change as something to embrace or look forward to? It’s quite understandable, especially if you’ve experienced it as well. However, being open to change and being willing to embrace it is exactly what we need to do.

Almost 30 years ago, I has a small epiphany. Because of some reading I had been doing, I became driven to find a way to create a better connection with my higher self. Long story short – it made me realize that if I didn’t start looking at change differently, I would just keep repeating the same experiences over and over again. That meant resolving the issues inside me that had created my fear and apprehension surrounding changes of any kind.

Journeys of self-understanding and self-discovery are long and sometimes scary. There are places within you that are dark that you must shine a light on in order to understand where certain feelings and reactions you have came from. I often thought about it being like exploring a haunted house. The ghosts of my past held the keys to the mysteries of me. Those keys unlocked doors to rooms that held pieces of my history that I had to discover and face if I was to ever overcome the fears and anxieties that kept attracting unpleasant people and events into my life.

Like I said, it’s been almost 30 years since I began that journey. One of the biggest “truths” I have uncovered along the way is that unless you change who you have been all this time, nothing will change in your life. That, once again, brings us back to the Law of Attraction. (Which wasn’t really well known at the time I began this journey.) It brings us back to our vibrations and the fact that what we are vibrating to is what we attract to us. If your vibration is one of fear and anxiety, then the Universe/God/ Creative Force answers you by sending things that match up to that vibration. All the words you may speak say nothing compared to the vibrations that are emanating from you.

My feelings now about change? Still not really happy about it, but I’ve made a real effort to not be as afraid of what might lie on the other side of it. As a result, the changes that happened this year weren’t as devastating as they could have been. Those “rugs” have gotten smaller and no longer totally dump me on my ass. I stumble, regain my balance and continue onward. I’ve learned that all things do happen for a reason. Sometimes we don’t understand why they had to happen for years, maybe decades, later. I’ve learned to go with change a lot better than I used to. I also recognize that I’m still a work in progress, so I’m sure there are more cha-cha-cha-changes coming from both within and without.

Change 2

Love & Blessed Be