You’ve read my story, thus far, and know that not only life experiences, but personal belief in the vast possibilities of the seen and unseen world have been my motivation on my journey. I admit that one of the big draws to Wicca was the possibilities held in the performance of magick. Little did I realize that, although it would take decades of reading and understanding, it would all lead me right back to the spiritual. For you see, we are the stuff of stars and dreams and so much more.
But I’m getting way ahead of myself. There was a motivation for my attraction to the magickal side of my chosen spiritual path. You see, at the time I found Wicca, I was married to an abuser. I can’t say it was conscious, but I needed a weapon to protect myself. (This was all going on in the 1970s when law enforcement would side with the man and preferred to believe the woman ran into a door multiple times or fell down the stairs.) Please understand that I still firmly believed that intentionally harming someone was just plain wrong. Here I was on the receiving end of physical violence on a fairly regular basis, not realizing that there was another lesson from the Universe brewing.
Bide the Wiccan Rede ye must,
In perfect love and perfect trust,
Eight words of Wiccan Rede fulfill,
“And ye harm none, do what ye will.”
Lest in thy self defense it be,
Ever mind the Rule of Three.
Follow this with mind and heart
We merry meet and merry part.
I was young, in my mid-twenties, and needed to believe it was all right to use whatever means available to defend myself. So I believed that what I was about to do was justified and didn’t break the Wiccan Rede.
I had already had a couple instances where I had “cast spells” and seen the results. One was a time when Dee (you remember her), was in desperate need of a job and the one she applied for had about 50 other people also applying. So at the time of her interview, with a mini-Altar set up on my TV, I did a spell whereby the employer would see that only she was the best one for the job. She came by my house after the interview to tell me she’d been hired on the spot! No more interviews were conducted and even though there were plenty more people waiting to be interviewed, they were all sent home. Coincidence? Perhaps. I prefer to believe I did some ass-kickin’ magick that worked on the spot!
So, the next time my abusive husband took his frustrations out on me, I decided it was time he suffered as well. I had a book that told about using wax images of people to do magick. I got that book out and made that wax image. I put the hair and other personal things of his needed to make this really “him”. I put all of the pent-up emotion of the hurt and pain he was inflicting on me into it. And then I put it in my incense burner and set it on fire. The end result? Well, he broke out in huge, blistering welts that burned and hurt very badly. Did it stop what he was doing to me? No. You see what I did was only temporary. It didn’t resolve what was really wrong with the situation. It was like taking a pill and expecting the underlying cause of your illness to just magically disappear. Huh-uh. Won’t happen. Not until you do what really needs to be done. What I really needed to do was leave, but I wouldn’t find the courage to do that for several more years.
Magick, I learned, is a privilege that comes with a lot of responsibility. Using it to try to “get even” with a friend or a loved one because of real or imagined pain they have inflicted on you only creates karma that will be worked out later in this life or in a future life. I don’t know about you, but I obviously came into this life to resolve karma, not to create more – especially of the negative variety.
Did I continue to work magick? Yes. Only it was now very clear to me that spells of retribution were out. Problems needed to be resolved by finding a solution rather than just seeking retribution. The magick I now worked was to help; to add my positive energies and thoughts to another’s to bring about good for them or a given situation.
It was interesting then and now, to find that once people knew you were a Witch and did “spells” that they wanted you to do a spell for them – to find a lover, to get even with someone, to become rich or famous. I chuckle now at the thought, but back then, as part of my learning process, I had to learn to politely say “no” and tell them that if they felt that strongly about something, they should do their own magick…cast their own “spells”. They would usually say something to the effect, “Oh, but I’m no Witch!” That’s when I would have to try to explain that you don’t have to be a Witch to work magick. It truly doesn’t matter what spiritual path you walk, we are powerful beings – more powerful than we are ever taught and more powerful, sometimes, than most of us are willing to believe. (Although it would be 20 years before Nelson Mandela would deliver his inaugural address, you now know why I love it so much. He knows, as we all should, how powerful we are!)
It would take another 25 years before my eyes would really be opened to how magick really works, and why we should all be practicing it. That story will have to wait for the next time, but I will tell it because it truly is no “secret”.