Journey Log – Day 2: Mysteries in the night.

Rested?  Well, our journey this time takes us into the night.  Not any night, but the nights of my very early youth.  Come on, follow me! 

It is said that energy cannot be destroyed.  It can only change form.  The common example that is usually used to demonstrate this is an ice cube.  As an ice cube it is solid, but when melted, it becomes a liquid.  When that liquid is heated it become steam, a gas.

Assuming, for a moment, that this is absolutely true then the question arises, “What happens to the energy that animates the physical body when that body dies?”  I believe someone was trying to give me that answer at a very early age.  So early, in fact, that it scared the living “stuff” out of me for years to come.

The first incident wasn’t so scary.  It involved waking one night to see a gray shrouded figure standing at the end of my bed.  Somehow, even though I couldn’t see a face and there was no indication of shape to the body, I knew it was a female.  She  just stood there and looked at me.  I didn’t really feel scared and just went back to sleep.  I ask you to please make note of this shrouded figure.  She will appear again later on.

Then, I must have been only about 4 years old when I awoke one night to a disembodied hand over my face.  You’re probably wondering how a 4-year-old came to that conclusion.  As I said before, there was always something “different” about me.  Somehow, I had the presence of mind to check to see if my teddy bear was still in my arms – after all, he would have looked like a hand over my face with his four appendages.  Teddy was tucked safely in the crook of my right arm.  Okay.  Maybe someone was standing beside my bed…cautiously, I look out of the corner of my right eye.  Trying to turn my head was too scary of any idea.  Nope, no one standing there…just the hand on my face.  Now my heart is racing.  After all these years, I’m not sure if my voice was unavailable to me, and that’s why I didn’t scream, or if I just felt it wouldn’t have done any good.  I do remember forcing myself to take deep breaths to calm down and telling myself that if I’d just go back to sleep, when I woke up in the morning, it would be gone and everything would be all right.  So I did and it was.

I don’t remember telling my mother about it.  If I did she probably, like most parents, told me it was just a bad dream.  Believe me, it was no dream.  Being who I was then, and am now, I took matters into my own hands.  My solution?  I slept with the covers over my head for the next 6 or 7 years.  Really.  Whatever that was, I was determined it wasn’t getting access to my face again!

Why do I bring this up?  Well, for most people this would have been so traumatic they would have stayed away from anything that had to do with ghosts, haunting, possession, or just the paranormal in general.  Not yours-truly.  Huh-uh.

I’m not sure what finally made me stop sleeping with the covers over my head.  I do know that it happened sometime between ten and eleven years old.  By then, it may have been my fascination with unicorns and other magical beasties that made me realize there was really nothing visible or invisible to be afraid of, or it could have been my Scorpio mother’s love of scary movies and her allowing me to watch them that convinced me that there was something intriguing about it all.

Knowing what I know now about energy and vibration, I realize I was taking a lot on faith then.  It just all seemed so possible to me.  Ghosts, fairies…why not?  Why should we be limited to the only what we can see in the “solid” world?  I certainly didn’t feel I should be.  From the time I got my first library card, I read and read and read about ghosts, people and animals with psychic abilities, and just anything that the average kid or adult would have never considered.  It all fascinated me and seemed so possible.

By the time I reached high school, I became intrigued with a Ouija board.  I found that, with or without any other person present to “play the game”, I could make the pointer move and talk to someone or something that I couldn’t see.  That board comes in handy later in the story, so make note of it as well.

I’m not sure if I was born a night person or became one because of my interest in all the things normally associated with the dark that I’ve been telling you about.  What I do know is that the older I got, the more that became true.

I graduated from high school, got a job, almost immediately married my high school sweetheart and became pregnant.  The interest in all those “strange” things never stopped.

Remember that gray, shrouded figure of my early childhood?  Well, as I woke one night during my uncomfortable pregnancy, I found “her” standing at the end of my bed just as she had down some 15 years previous.  Once again, there was no attempt to communicate or come close.  It was just as if she was observing me, waiting for something.  As in that earlier incident, I just went back to sleep, knowing I was in no danger.  It wasn’t that I didn’t believe she was real – quite the contrary.  I firmly believed by that time, as I still do today, that there are beings who exist invisibly to us and there are also beings that have been our friends and family that still exist to watch over us or come back to tell us something important.

I got to talking with a friend from work about my “visitor” and found that she, my friend, had an interest in the same kind of things.  Little did I realize where that event and that conversation would lead.  I was on a journey that I had no map for and no actual realization that I was a traveler.

Well, this looks like a good place to rest a while.  I don’t want to wear you out and I certainly don’t want you to lose interest in the scenery.  So take a deep breath, get a drink of water and anticipate where we will go as this journey continues…

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