I’ve got something bothering me and I’m hoping that writing about it here will either help me sort it out or perhaps one of you will have a new perspective or suggestion for me.
I come from a generation that knew a time when there was no Facebook, Twitter, or even computers. Not only were there no smartphones, but no mobile phones or even cordless landline phones. In fact, there was a time when you had to call the operator to make even local calls because, in many areas, dialing numbers hadn’t been created. For some, there were no private lines and sharing your phone line with others was common.
There were no video games, no DVDs or DVRs (or VCRs) and our TVs only had three channels. “How did we ever survive?”, you may ask, especially if you’re a Millenial. Well, we had actual physical interaction. We actually talked to each other…face-to-face! If someone went to all the trouble to call you on the phone, we talked to them! If that person was far away, that meant calling you took even more time and effort (being connected to operator after operator as the distance between you and them was traversed on phone lines). You were so happy to hear their voice!!!
Now we live in an age where connecting with someone can be done in a variety of methods – phone, text, instant message, email, and even video-talking such as Skype. You’d think people would really be talking to one another. They’re not.
It seems like the more technology that’s been created, the more people began to hide behind it. First, their computer screens and now the screens of their smartphones. To me, this is quite disturbing and quite frustrating.
“Disturbing?” you ask. Yes, disturbing. Human beings have always avoided people and situations in their lives that they feared/dreaded and, now, with these new forms of communication technology, it has become very easy to do that. Instead of learning to stand in our power and face down the object of our fear and dread, we crouch in the shadows of computer and smartphone screens allowing the culprit to hold its power over us. Heaven forbid we should actually have to physically face it or them, we can’t even do it with a screen separating us!
“Frustrating?” Hell yes it’s frustrating! For those of us who have learned to “feel the fear and do it anyway,” having to deal with someone who doesn’t seem to have the courage of their convictions can make a person want to scream at the top of their lungs. Can’t we just get this out in the open and deal with it? Haven’t you heard that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger? Do you think you’re the only one who may find the situation scary? Believe me, you’re not alone. Come on, let’s talk about it.
There’s a situation I’m going through right now that has me frustrated because of the lack of communication. The details aren’t necessary. What’s important is that in this situation I’m being left in the dark by a lack of communication. Have you ever noticed how your mind has the ability to imagine the most horrid things when someone won’t communicate the truth of a situation?
In this situation, I’m doing some volunteer work with a very small organization. In order to be able to do my work, there has to be communication from the head of the organization. Three months ago, a silence fell that has become deafening. Our usual method of communication has always been email due to our conflicting schedules. Over the course of this three months, I’ve sent three or four emails, giving both my progress reports and asking questions so I would know how to proceed. Silence.
My mind has gone off on tangents where there is a conspiracy of one kind or another happening. At other times, concern has entered my mind that something may have happened to the organization head. No matter what the circumstance, a little communication would be nice. In case you’re wondering, we live over 3½ hours apart, so going to where they live isn’t a possibility.
Is there a possibility that fear or dread of communicating with me is the problem? I have no idea. If this is the case, what can be so fearful or dreadful about speaking ones truth to another person involved in that aspect of ones life? I’m also confused by all this. Is the hope that if the silence continues I will just go away and no longer be a problem to be dealt with? I hate to say it, but that’s pretty freakin’ cowardly, if that’s the case.
Here’s the thing: this little situation of mine isn’t an isolated case. This is happening all over. People aren’t really talking to each other anymore. Tweeting, texting, messaging, are NOT real forms of communication, in my book. You want to know how a person really feels, have the guts to at least pick up the phone and place a phone call where you can hear their voice. Better yet, take a deep breath and ask when you can meet to talk face-to-face. By doing so, you will get to see their facial expressions and feel the energy coming off them as you talk through whatever problem – real or imagined – needs discussing. They, too, will benefit because they get to see your facial expressions and feel your energy. OMG! You might actually get to the truth of the situation! What a concept! Now, why, in the name of all that’s sacred, would you fear that?
As I look to take the next step in my own little drama, a phone call, I hope that, should a similar situation exist or arise for you, you will find the courage to confront it head on and not allow yourself to lurk in the shadows of fear where you may never know the real truth of the situation.