You know how you notice some things, but they’re like on the periphery of your consciousness? Sometimes it takes a while to really register because they’re not really earth-shaking, life-changing compared to other things happening in your life. I had that happen this year.
I’ve mentioned before that I’m a Sun-worshipper, but also a night-owl. Yea, I know how crazy that seems and sounds, but that’s me. Well, here’s another one for ya…. I love the changing of the seasons. I wouldn’t want to live somewhere that the climate was primarily the same all the time. And yet…. Autumn makes me sad and I loath Winter!
All this was really brought clearly into my consciousness when we were having a really hot August and people were posting on Facebook how many more days until Fall. I never realized how many of my friends are really into Fall/Autumn with its cooler temperatures, Fall foliage, sweaters, hot chocolate, etc. It started becoming funny when I realized that most of these people were born in the Fall or Winter! No wonder they are so enamored of it!
Then there’s me. Yeah, I’m over here dancing to the beat of my own drummer….AGAIN! While I love to see the colors the trees turn , enjoy it not being 80 or 90 degrees anymore, love the holidays – Halloween, Thanksgiving, Yule and celebrating a New Year being born, Fall both saddens me and makes me literally brace myself for the coming cold. I dislike having to put on a preponderance of clothing, shoveling and driving in snow, and looking at bare trees!
At the root of my strangness is probably the fact I was born in May when the Earth is in the midst of blooming. The trees are leafing out, a multitude of colors appear with the blooming of flowers and I can turn off the furnace and open the doors and windows to let Nature into the house. Oh, yeah, there’s also the taking off of that preponderance of clothing. I like being barefoot, inside and outside the house and I would much rather take off clothes, to the point of almost being almost nude, to looking like I should be living in an igloo (no offense meant to those who choose to do so).
The other thing is the length of the day. It’s really depressing when it starts getting dark at 5 p.m. and the Sun doesn’t arise until 8 a.m. Even though I am still up after midnight, I like not having to turn the lights on until 9 p.m. It placates both the Sun-worshipper and the night-owl that I am.
This year, this piece of consciousness has led me to see how I react to the changing of the seasons. Emotionally and physically, I’m not reacting well. I find myself with my ambition waning already and Fall has barely begun. I’ve also discovered that I physically brace myself against the coming cold – my back has been aching like crazy, something it hadn’t been doing all Spring and Summer, because my back muscles are literally tensing against the cooler temperatures whether I’m inside or outside the house.
Then comes the falling leaves and the sadness that stirs inside me, knowing that soon the trees will be bare, all the flowers will be gone, no bird song in the morning, and many days filled with cold temperatures and gray skies. On a regular basis, I have to remind myself that, “All that dies is reborn once more…” because it is. I realize that in the part of the world I live in, the Earth needs a rest. I know that it will come alive again after that rest, but still…..
At 68 years young, it now becomes more apparent how I respond to change…especially the changing of the seasons…and how I respond to “death”. I know that there is a cycle to all living things on the face of the Earth, including humans. I know that all things are reborn, including humans. Permanence is an illusion. Change is the only constant in the waking Universe. How we respond to Life and Change can make a great deal of difference in our journey in this incarnation. How do I know? The falling leaves told me so….