They say “Time flies when you’re having fun.” I guess I’ve really been partying down because the last year has literally flown by! Last year, at this time, I would have never dreamed that Life would unfold the way it has.
The fourth anniversary of my blog/website has passed without much notice to me. I began to feel sad about that, but then realized that the events of the past year have definitely been out-of-the-ordinary. I feel fortunate that I’ve managed to remember as many things as I have with all the changes that have taken place.
My dreams have never contained the disruption and upheaval of Life that I have experienced…but then, Dear Reader, you must remember I’m a Taurus. Most of us do have a problem with change, especially if that change is sudden and unexpected. Talk about having the rug pulled out from under one’s feet! Oy!
Life goes on though and eventually I find my footing, continuing my journey down this road of Life. Still, looking back at the last six months, my visions of the future didn’t include the loss of my husband’s income nor a return to a part of my life I thought was concluded 13 years ago.
By now, I thought I would have another e-book written (maybe even two). By now, I thought I would be driving a new car, allowing my 14 year old dependable Mustang to retire. Life is certainly strange – always ready to throw you a curve ball so you stay on your toes and never get bored or complacent.
Instead, for me personally, there has been a large gain in weight, from the turmoil of our economic upheaval, that now requires my attention. It has become clear that, throughout my life, whenever life becomes chaotic, especially emotionally, I gain weight to protect myself from the harshness of the outside world. It’s pretty obvious that I have control issues and when Life takes that control away from me, I freak and put on weight. Not a good thing. Or is it? This has called my attention to several things. First, how I react to my life being destabilized. Second, if I expect to help others empower and heal themselves, I must first practice that “magick” successfully on myself. Third, Life is about Change and Faith is a more reasonable state of existence than trying to “control” everything and everyone in your life. So, perhaps this is a “good” thing in disguise.
Then there’s that “return” I mentioned. You’ve heard me talk about my years with Goddess Gathering and Raven-Wolf Nature Sanctuary. Once we got our own land, I was Coordinator for 13 years before retiring in 2002. When I left, I really felt as if I had done what the Goddess had asked of me and that chapter in my life was done…over…fini. Guess again, dear Lady! What began as a willingness to facilitate a reunion of those of us who were regulars on that Land, turned into much more. No, I’m not returning to being Coordinator – that very respectable job now falls on the shoulders of a much younger woman – but I have been “called” back to take charge of finances and paperwork, at least temporarily, and to help in the rebirth and rebuilding of a very sacred space. I recognize that this is a chance to bring the Land back to the vision that the Goddess and God originally had for it. I recognize that, although I’m not the 41 year old who helped originally open this Land, there are skills that I have that can be of assistance in rebirthing and rebuilding this very special place. Still, I would have never dreamed….
That brings me to my car issues. They say “Every thing happens for a reason.” and I have to view this from the same perspective. Being a Taurus, I’m pretty practical, in most instances, and I’m okay with that. When I bought that Mustang, back in 2002, my Aquarius Rising made an appearance and basically said, “Enough with all this practicality! Let’s do something fun!!!” What was interesting was that, being a sports car, the Mustang wasn’t suited for the terrain of the Land. That was okay. I was retiring, wasn’t I? Yup! So for 13 years I have driven that wonderful, loyal car. Now, I need a new one. I thought another Mustang lie ahead in my future. Now, I’m not so sure. To return to being part of Raven-Wolf, I need something that will easily enter the Land. Something with front-wheel drive or all-wheel drive would be primo. No Mustang will ever fill that bill! What to do…what to do? Is it possible to be practical and sporty at the same time? So my search has begun. It’s been a difficult one, thus far. The artist in me rejects most of the styling of new cars. To me, they are all “boxes” or “bars of soaps“. How does one fulfill the urge to be practical and sporty? A quandary I never thought I would face. Life is interesting….
So, if you’ve seen my “Introduction” you may be wondering, “Whatever happened to opening that healing room to help others?” Still somewhat a “work-in-progress”, even it has taken a slight course change. Now, it also serves as a “reading” room for those who come to have my husband read Tarot or his crystal ball for them, as he slowly builds his metaphysical business to take the place of his former job. It will soon also be a place for classes and lectures, small drumming circles, and, yes, spiritual counseling and healing to help others empower themselves. Who would have thought?
So, here I am, Dear Reader, belatedly celebrating the fourth anniversary of “Journey to the Center of the Mind”, realizing the truth to the quote that lies beneath that title: “There is no end to self-knowledge.” This last six months have been very revealing. I am very grateful for that. It has shown me much.