One of the first things we seem to learn about is being hurt by others. Whether it’s family, friends, or others, the lessons of disappointment, disapproval, anger and even hate come at the hands of people we like/love, trust and even respect. It’s a difficult lesson that repeats often throughout our lives and leaves many, many wounds and scars.
The manifestation of those wounds and scars can be physical, especially if you experienced physical abuse, but quite often they manifest as emotional and/or psychological problems. If the same type of “lesson” is experienced over and over again, it can cause us to doubt ourselves – lose self-confidence and self-esteem – and believe we are unworthy of receiving love, a good job or many other things in our lives. It can also cause us to seek revenge or turn our anger inward causing depression or the manifesting of numerous physical ailments. No matter how you look at it, leaving these wounds open and festering or not working through the cause of the scars is a deterrent to our forward progress in this incarnation.
I’ve had my own share of these lessons and my own share of the wounds and scars they have left behind. I also have a short fuse – bad temper – and have never been real good at letting go of the hurt caused to me by others. Revenge, even if only enacted in my mind, has always seemed to be justified when someone has created pain in my life. Holding a grudge has, at times, been a way of life for me. Looking for a way to get even, no matter how long it took, became a game. The only thing this really did was make life a whole lot more miserable and eventually caused the manifestation of clinical depression within me.
So what do you do? What is the answer? FORGIVENESS. The dictionary defines the word “forgive” as: “1. To grant pardon for or remission of (something); cease to demand penalty for. 2. To grant freedom from penalty to (someone). 3. To cease to blame or feel resentment against. 4. To remit, as a debt. 5. To show forgiveness; grant pardon.”
It took me a long time to realize the true meaning of this action. It wasn’t easy and I still struggle with it upon occasion. Here’s the thing though – Forgiveness doesn’t mean the incident never happened and it doesn’t mean someone wasn’t in the wrong for what they did. What it does mean is that you’re ready to let go of the burden that’s been weighing you down and holding you back from any possible joy, love, and abundance that you’ve been missing in your life.
We’re in a time when becoming consciously aware of the vibrations that surround us on a day-to-day and hour-to-hour basis has become extremely important to our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual welfare. This is only half the story though. What goes on internally in each of us is even more vital to all aspects of our living life to its fullest. Carrying around the “heavy” vibrations of pain and suffering from the past is like walking through each day carrying a 500-pound backpack on our backs. Yeah, exhausting, to say the least!
The truth of all this is that, if you have been carrying around stuff for decades, you have taken the place of the original punisher and are now continually punishing yourself by continuing to carry the memory of the event and the pain caused by it. What’s even worse is that, because like really does attract like, more the same will continue to come your way because those are the vibrations you carry within yourself and your aura.
Let me be a little blunt. Those of us who follow magickal paths would say we don’t need anyone to put a “curse” on us, we have become our own personal black magicians. Why would anyone want to do that to themselves? And yet, because it often never occurs to us, that’s exactly what we do to ourselves every day that we continue to carry the events of the past that created pain for us.
The first realization that has to come to you is that you have the power to let go of this burden you’ve been carrying for far too long. Next, you have to realize that the act of forgiveness is for YOU, not the person who caused the harm. You are seeking to reach peace with it. This is about healing YOU. It doesn’t mean you ever have to speak to that person again or be friends or anything like that. It just means you’re ready to stop continuing the punishment that began long ago at the hands of someone else.
You can do this as an actual act, if it will help you release it and it can take any number of forms. Two that I use, depending on how stubborn the hurt that needs releasing, are:
1) I sit in meditation and recall the hurt, the situation and/or the person who perpetrated it and, when I have it clearly in my mind, put it in a balloon, releasing it then to the heavens for the Creative Force (by whatever name you use) to transform it into something useful. This can also be done by visualizing it going down your spine and into the Earth, where Mother Nature will turn it into some nice fertilizer to grow something beautiful.
2) Write on a piece of paper what happened, the pain you felt then and feel now, who created that pain and anything else that you need to release concerning the event. Once it is all written out, burn it in a fireplace, fire pit or any other safe receptacle. As it burns, take a deep breath in and exhale deeply letting go of the last vestiges of it.
Once you have done whatever it takes to let go, immediately get up and do something that makes you smile, that brings you joy, no matter what that is. You have just lightened your load! Celebrate!
Most of us carry more than one thing with us and you can do this as many times as necessary to lighten and change the vibrations you carry with you. It’s time to open yourself up to all the gifts Life is waiting to give you. It’s time to grab that brass ring! Go you!!!