The Journey Continues – Confrontation

ConfrontationPeriodically, it seems, the lesson of confrontation rears its “ugly” head and I find myself feeling the need to speak and write about it.  I’m not sure if that’s happened since I began writing on this site, but, if it has, well, it’s happening again.

The first time I was “called” to write about confrontation came when I was coordinator of a Pagan nature sanctuary.  As happens when you put a large group of people together, differences in opinion happened.  The problem was that, although those with complaints were more than willing to voice them, they wouldn’t take them to the person or persons that seemed to be causing the “problem”.  Talk about it to anyone and everyone else?  Heck yeah!  I got tired of it and decide to write an article in our little group publication.  I would like to present those words to you here, for your consideration.  Then add some more ‘food for thought’ afterwards.

“Of all the things we fear, it seems ‘confrontation’ ranks very close to number one on that list of fearful things for many of us.

“Somewhere along the line of our growth and development we learned and put to memory only the negative side of confrontation.  That’s the side where there’s a lot of anger and yelling and blaming.  It’s no wonder that, for many, confrontation has come to be something to be avoided like the plague.

“That’s only one side of confrontation, however, and even the dictionary will tell you that.  Although it is true that ‘confrontation’ means to face defiantly,  it also means to come face to face with; to compare.

“For those of us who have only experienced defiant confrontation, we have been robbed of the positive experience of confrontation as a means of better understanding each other.  How so? We now run away from any situation where we share a different, sometimes opposing, opinion in a given situation fro fear of re-experiencing the accusatory/defensive postures of negative/defiant confrontation.  What a shame that this fear from past experience now cripples and robs us of an opportunity at greater awareness and understanding of ourselves and others.

“Our spiritual selves feel no fear and love unconditionally but because we are also physical beings we have egos and these ego selves, although wanting to be liked by one and all, have had experiences which have cause us to fear.

“Fear comes from hurt and/or anger.  It is an emotion which reaches into the past and brings the past into the present.  What a waste of energy!  When this happens and fear rears its ugly head, it causes us to react with avoidance, accusation, and anger – all very defensive postures to protect ourselves from experiencing the past again.   We fear being hurt.  We fear being wrong.  We fear being disliked.

“To banish fear, one must leave the experiences that created the fear in the first place where they belong and have the courage to live in the NOW.  But what does that mean?  It means treating each day, with its experiences, as if they were being experienced for the first time, much like a small child discovering his or her world.  This entails leaving your measuring stick for experience, the past, at home.  It’s a new day, all the experiences – no matter what they are and who they involve – are new.

“Every situation we experience, whether positive or negative, is an opportunity for growth and learning.  Confrontation is no different.

“Being placed in a situation where someone says or does something that hurts or angers you is a chance to grow and learn.  It is a chance for clear communication – without anger or accusation.  It is a chance for better understanding – a chance to stand in the other person’s shoes and see and experience what they do.  It is a chance to agree to disagree with unconditional love.

“To put the shoe on the other foot, if someone should happen to come to you to discuss what they feel is a legitimate problem concerning both of you, allow yourself to be receptive to ‘comparing’ notes.  There’s a lot to be gained from the experience.

“Since none of us knows each other intimately, it is quite possible for us to unintentionally say or do things that can hurt or anger others.  When others find the courage to confront us about these things, we need to be open to this opportunity for learning and understanding.

“The sad part is that there are many lost opportunities due to fear.  Avoidance has become the norm rather than the exception.

“In this day and age of conscious spiritual evolution, we owe it to ourselves ad other to put into practice, at every opportunity, positive confrontation – coming face to face and comparing.

“This is especially true for those of us who walk the paths of Paganism and Wicca.  Many of us can be heard calling ourselves ‘Brothers and Sisters’, but how can we be if we are not willing to sit down with each other and discuss our similarities and  differences?  We become as hypocritical as the rest of the world when we don’t make the time to understand others and ourselves and extend unconditional love to all, despite any differences.

“The Creative Force, which manifests itself for many of us as the Goddess and God, loves us unconditionally in any and all circumstances.  We call ourselves their children.  If this is true, should we do any less for ourselves and each other?”

It is the part “should we do any less for ourselves” that gives rise to my current excursion into ‘confrontation.’  You see, with the current spiritual awakening that’s taking place, there’s another kind of confrontation that seems to be taking place.  It’s quite personal and, to the outside world, is quite invisible.

For those who are awakening, there arises a confrontation between the ego and the higher self.  This, basically, is a butting of heads or tug-of-war between everything we’ve been taught and been programmed to believe about who we are and what is expected of us by that outside world versus who we truly are and what we truly came here to do in this lifetime.

Is it any wonder that so many people have sought and continue to seek professional help for the chaos that seems to be taking place inside of them?  Something inside is telling us that something is very wrong with our lives – we can’t quite put  our fingers on it, often, but something doesn’t feel right and it’s depressing us.  We’re not happy with our lives, but aren’t sure what to do.  We seek out help, which often includes medication, and even though we receive therapy and take our meds, at best, things get better for a little while and then go “bad” again.  Something is still wrong.

Fox Mulder, on the “X-Files”, used to say, “The Truth is out there.” Well, in actuality, “The Truth is within.” and it may take a personal confrontation of all you’ve ever been taught to find what it is that is essentially a lie for you.  Some part of you knows it already, but until you are willing to confront what you’ve been told, you won’t know what it truly is that you believe.  When you come face-to-face with it, you’ll know it because it will disagree with what you were taught/programmed.  The light will go on, an epiphany will happen, and your energy will lighten up at least an octave.

Confrontation – it’s not just about others, it’s about us as well.  Without challenging and comparing what resides within us, we can never even truly know ourselves, let alone anyone else.  We must first know and unconditionally love ourselves before our relationships with others truly have any meaning.

Confrontation: It can be a positive experience.

Peace and SerenityLove & Blessed Be

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3 responses to “The Journey Continues – Confrontation

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